This is a movie that I had seen before but totally forgotten about until we started watching it. The 1980's had a lot of great fads - Legwarmers, louver sunglasses, feathered haircuts, and best of all - Divorce! People LOVED to get Divorced in the 80's. In suburbs all across America Dads were taking off and returning only on the weekends when they would pick you up in their LeBaron and take you to Showbiz Pizza with some lady named Carrol who wore too much perfume and called you "Honey" a lot. It was great! Best of all Dad would feel guilty and buy you all sorts of stupid shit and sometimes have too many bud lights and then cry. First Born is a movie that was made to cash in on the divorce craze. We have a mom played by Teri Garr and a couple boys played by Christopher Collett and Corey Haim (totally not my favorite Corey). For some reason the tone of the family as well as the house kind of reminds me of ET. Teri Garr gets peeved that her ex husband is getting re married so she goes out and picks up Peter Weller. There is an uncomfortable scene where the kids come home early and realize that Robocop is boning their mom. Lame. After a while we find out that Peter Weller isnt just douchey, he's a coke head! He even has a special pinball machine that he does coke off of. He ends up moving in to the house and is a total dick. Now the movie is kind of like ET if you replace the loveable alien with an abusive boyfriend. On the upside he gives the older brother a sweet dirtbike. There is a decent amount of actual strife and drama and then it all gets retarded. The actual drama of mom's abusive boyfriend turns into schlocky made for TV suspense and culminates in a crazy chase scene. Older Brother hides the cocaine stash so Peter Weller chases him in his crazy jacked up Chevy Blazer with a lot of KC lights. Older Brother is driving his dirtbike and there is suspense and chasing and truck and dirtbike. In the end evil boyfriend catches the older brother kid and they beat the crap out of each other and then fucking Corey Haim shows up with a baseball bat and everyone is saved and Teri Garr realizes what a cock this guy is. The End.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
1-6-2010 - First Born
This is a movie that I had seen before but totally forgotten about until we started watching it. The 1980's had a lot of great fads - Legwarmers, louver sunglasses, feathered haircuts, and best of all - Divorce! People LOVED to get Divorced in the 80's. In suburbs all across America Dads were taking off and returning only on the weekends when they would pick you up in their LeBaron and take you to Showbiz Pizza with some lady named Carrol who wore too much perfume and called you "Honey" a lot. It was great! Best of all Dad would feel guilty and buy you all sorts of stupid shit and sometimes have too many bud lights and then cry. First Born is a movie that was made to cash in on the divorce craze. We have a mom played by Teri Garr and a couple boys played by Christopher Collett and Corey Haim (totally not my favorite Corey). For some reason the tone of the family as well as the house kind of reminds me of ET. Teri Garr gets peeved that her ex husband is getting re married so she goes out and picks up Peter Weller. There is an uncomfortable scene where the kids come home early and realize that Robocop is boning their mom. Lame. After a while we find out that Peter Weller isnt just douchey, he's a coke head! He even has a special pinball machine that he does coke off of. He ends up moving in to the house and is a total dick. Now the movie is kind of like ET if you replace the loveable alien with an abusive boyfriend. On the upside he gives the older brother a sweet dirtbike. There is a decent amount of actual strife and drama and then it all gets retarded. The actual drama of mom's abusive boyfriend turns into schlocky made for TV suspense and culminates in a crazy chase scene. Older Brother hides the cocaine stash so Peter Weller chases him in his crazy jacked up Chevy Blazer with a lot of KC lights. Older Brother is driving his dirtbike and there is suspense and chasing and truck and dirtbike. In the end evil boyfriend catches the older brother kid and they beat the crap out of each other and then fucking Corey Haim shows up with a baseball bat and everyone is saved and Teri Garr realizes what a cock this guy is. The End.
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